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Friday, October 16, 2009

Dear blog, I am having a hard time coping with Chemistry, Mathematics and Physics and they are all my simultaneous modules. I am a very vocal person however I find it hard to continue to be vocal when I am doing these modules because I can't possibly understand all the concepts.

I need time to understand Chemistry models, concepts and calculations. Lone pair? Electronegativity? Polarity? Hydrophobic? Hydrophilic?

I need more than three hours to absorb mathematical calculations because it is very difficult for me because I forget all the formula back. OMG! Vectors? Magnitude? Windspeed? Groundspeed? Airspeed?

I need lots of patience and effort when I am doing Physics. It is very difficult for me because the whole team looks kind of dependent on me and trust me when I say this, I am not that strong in Physics. I have a good memory for words but not numbers. Numbers seem to be my arch enemy and therefore, I have to kind of put in lots and lots and lots of effort in remembering all the concepts and the calculations, not forgetting the formula. When I know how to do the concepts and calculations, I have to explain to my team members. Can they take their own initiative to find out for themselves also? I am seriously not able to understand everything and make them understand everything. I am begging for help. Seriously! :'(

I just don't know what is wrong with me. I am trying my best to forget but as hard as I try, it is very hard. He refused to let me forget him. He is always in my mind, in my heart and I am seriously in love with him. Why can't I just forget him once and for all? Why people say that just move on with life? But, nobody knows how hard it is to forget someone that you are falling for deeper and deeper. Am I the only one with the feelings or there are some other people that have the same feelings like me before? Why can't I just be like them? Forget them and just move on with lives?

I know that I am the eldest girl in this family and I have to know how to do household chores in the house and I must do everything, but I have tried my utmost best. Why can't them understand that I am also tired? Why am I accused to be jealous when I say why can't my sister do the household chores instead? I am not the only girl in the house.

I know that I love to clean but that does not mean that you can dirty the area that I have cleaned. I am sick and tired of having to clean for you. You are also a GIRL. Do your part.

Why is it people think that I am being overbearing and demanding when I only wanted to be loved by the one that I love, gets the grade I wanted and not being the only one to do all the work?

I just want to be appreciated.


♥ Another entry @ 8:16 AM