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Friday, October 23, 2009

I am having a topsy turvy of a time when it comes to feelings/emotions. I am always confused of what I am feeling for perhaps my mr sweet sunshine. I just could not decipher my own feelings and the actions I took. Sometimes, when I see him, I just find him as a good friend and sometimes when I never see him, I feel lost and I just constantly search for him hoping to find a companion and sometimes, the feeling just get too overpowering. I find all sorts of excuses to find ways to forget him and perhaps hating him, but I know I can. I do feel at times that I want to just confess but then I could not bring myself to tell him because I do not want to lost him as a friend and it would just be so awkward. I want to just slowly forget him and get a move on but I know that I cannot do it because he is just always in my heart.I am getting seriously confused with my feelings. I do not know whether I should treat him to be my normal/close friend or to keep liking him more than I should. Things seemed to be so unclear. I knew deep in my heart that he ain’t mine but I know that, I am denying that fact for quite long enough. Things are getting obvious now but I just cannot get him rid of my mind. My heart is constantly struggling with memories of him. He just keeps coming back into my mind and I guess, it will take me longer than just one year to forget him.
My mr sweet sunshine, can I start forgetting you now? I need to get over you. This is going to be hard but I am going to ignore you. I am going to try.

♥ Another entry @ 3:54 AM