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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mr Sunshine,
I love you.
I miss you.
You don't love me.
You don't miss me.
I am letting go of you.
I am forgetting my feelings for you.
Mr Sunshine,
Why are you so nice to me?
Why do you remember details about me?
Why do you make me feel loved?
Why do you make me so special?
Mr Sunshine,
I know you only treat me as a friend.
I know you are not in love.
Mr Sunshine,
Why is it so hard to forget you?
Why is it so hard to let go of you?
Mr Sunshine,
I want to let go of my feelings for you because I am tired of being the one loving. I guess that it is time for someone else to love me. I guess. Hopefully. Someone might come. I have heard a thousand versions of possibilities of your feelings. I come up with one conclusion, you obviously DON'T like me. I am letting go of you so that I would not be stuck in this dilemma forever. I am always making first moves, I guess that it is time for me to let go of you. It is going to pain but it will never last. Though memories always come when I am alone. You constantly comes to my mind and I just keep thinking about you. I know that life is never fair. Love is also never fair. I don't know if my feelings for you is love but I know that without you, my life is all gloomy and dark. I have to be in the dark to forget you so that I can move on and find the light. We would only be friends, only friends nothing more, right my love?
I know that I will regret my decision at some point but if I do not move on, will I ever get to see the light at the end of the tunnel? I cannot keep living in delusion that you have 'feelings' for me. I know we were never meant to be together. It is not just you my love, I don't want to be in a relationship at all. I wanted to admire at a distance because seeing you makes me content. I wished you never knew my feelings. I wondered why am I so jealous when I see you with other girls, a feeling that begin to resurface. I have to stop this feeling which is why I am letting go.
Thanks my love for all the smiles you gave me.

♥ Another entry @ 6:03 AM