<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/5160691814388452265?origin\x3dhttp://ainforever.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <body bgcolor="black"> skin by aMIDala anastAsiaNA



Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Dear diary...
I have been trying to get over the memories of the past because of its pain and its torment in my heart. As hard as I could, he is always a shadow of my past and will remain there as a figure of my first love. In my mind, there has always been a confusion of my feelings. My feelings always refused to accept the rationale in my mind and the consequences are that I am confused. I do want to follow what my mind says as it would be more rational and my actions would then be more structured but could I really follow my mind after being manipulated by my heart all the time?
Why do I feel jealous of his past? He is just sharing his emotions with me, I should be happy right that he is sharing something about his life and as a friend, I should be there for him. But, I really am confused now. I think that a part of me wants to be back with him but then, can we really change the past? What if he left me again for another girl? Can I then face another heartbreak?

Dear diary...
Often I questioned myself.. Am I really in love the memories of the present? All I know is that I could not get over him. He is infiltrating to every thoughts and every emotions of mine. He is always in my mind and whenever I close my eyes, I see his images plastered all over. I really want to change this feeling. He obviously doesn't care about me anymore.. It is not the same as the past anymore.. Can I accept this reality with strength?

♥ Another entry @ 5:47 AM