Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I have been trying to get over the memories of the past because of its pain and its torment in my heart. As hard as I could, he is always a shadow of my past and will remain there as a figure of my first love. In my mind, there has always been a confusion of my feelings. My feelings always refused to accept the rationale in my mind and the consequences are that I am confused. I do want to follow what my mind says as it would be more rational and my actions would then be more structured but could I really follow my mind after being manipulated by my heart all the time?
Why do I feel jealous of his past? He is just sharing his emotions with me, I should be happy right that he is sharing something about his life and as a friend, I should be there for him. But, I really am confused now. I think that a part of me wants to be back with him but then, can we really change the past? What if he left me again for another girl? Can I then face another heartbreak?
Dear diary...
Often I questioned myself.. Am I really in love the memories of the present? All I know is that I could not get over him. He is infiltrating to every thoughts and every emotions of mine. He is always in my mind and whenever I close my eyes, I see his images plastered all over. I really want to change this feeling. He obviously doesn't care about me anymore.. It is not the same as the past anymore.. Can I accept this reality with strength?
♥ Another entry @ 5:47 AM
Monday, June 28, 2010
What was I thinking seriously? I am the one that is into him but he is not. I should not have felt slighted. Well, it is normal isn't it? I should have never even hoped that there would be any chance. He will never like me, isn't it? I knew it. He only treated me like a friend, no more than that. Haiz, should have known. Spare all those tears.
♥ Another entry @ 5:39 PM
Friday, June 25, 2010
There are plenty of events that happened that made me so happy! I am so delighted with my life now.
Let me think...Hmmm..
Finally, after 1 year plus of waiting and hoping, I finally able to move on and get on with my life. I realised that the more I waited and hoped, the more hurt and disappointment that I gotten. I felt that I could have move on earlier but however I managed to move on. Alhamdullilah. :) I realised that ALLAH is always with me in every step of the way and I am thankful for that. Thank you, YA ALLAH.
I have been improving on my daily grades and I managed to get lesser C and most of my grades are a mixture of B and A. I feel that I can get more A(s) and I am going to work my way through it! Although, I was a little disappointed with my results, at least I passed! UT 2 is my breakthrough moment! I am going to make sure that I get a better grades because I know that I am capable of it. YES YES YES ! AIN BOLEH! :D
I got to know a new friend, Balqis. She is a very nice girl. I feel so comfortable talking to her and I felt like I have known her for ages. I just love to talk to her. :) But I also love to talk with my best friends. There are many of good friends that I could find when I am not looking. I am thankful to ALLAH for giving me chance to have them in my life.
And... hehehe... Something happy happened to me. Well, too soon to tell. Let that be a secret. :D I like!
♥ Another entry @ 11:39 PM
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
♥ Another entry @ 7:59 AM
Saturday, June 12, 2010
My two weeks holiday are finally going to end after these weekend and it is back to normal school weeks with the mundane routine again and again. I must say that I really enjoyed my break. Long sleeps and catching ups to do. :D Anyways, I am so so so not ready yet to go back to school. I just don't know if I am strong enough to face him. What if I cannot do what I have decided to do? What if I chose not to let go again? What if my heart wants to be hurt again? ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! streeeeeeeeeeeeessed!
Anyway, I have been snacking a lot today but not proper meals. Goshhhhh!
♥ Another entry @ 1:49 AM
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Memang sukar untuk melupakan orang yang pernah singgah di hati kita. Aku fikir, aku sudah cukup kuat untuk melupakannya namun bayangan dia tetap hadir? Aku ingin pergi jauh daripadanya. Dia penipu! Dulu, dia pernah cakap andai aku lari, dia akan datang mengejarku namun apa buktinya? Dia telah hilang. Dulu dia pernah cakap bahawa dia tidak akan pernah melupakan aku, namun apa buktinya? Dia tiada mencariku. Ternyata kenyataanmu palsu! PALSU! Kalau kamu tidak mampu membuktikan, jangan kau hulurkan kata harapan. Sakitnya kehilangan tidak akan pernah kau mengerti.
♥ Another entry @ 11:01 PM
Thursday, May 27, 2010
HARLO! I finally get the time to blog. It has been quite a rush these few weeks because I have to study for my UT 1 and I think I did pretty awesome. Anyway, so far.. I think my weeks have been going on well. Biochem frenzy caught me offguard all the time and I am always drained after mondays. Labbing microbio make me so professory but it is fun. Who knows, dealing with bacteria could give me such delight. Freaking stress chemistry always make my brain drop dead after the problem statement is being shown but when I get going with the worksheet, heyyyy... not that bad after all. Anyways, thursdays are such a darling because I get to go to school late. I like the faci, she is so patient and caring. Ohhh, an eyecandy there. :D *shhh* [TOP SECRET] fridays are just freaking delightful because it is so easy to score in it and hmmm, eyecandy next door.. wooots! :D
THREE PRETTY THINGS HAPPENED:
1. Like someone new.. He is so cute. =)
2. SHAHIR WON AF8! super cool!
3. LEE DEWYZE IS AI9! WOOHOO!
i so freaking like it! i love it!!!! :D
anyways, i am waiting for daddy to fetch me to balik kampung. gotta go.. bye!
♥ Another entry @ 2:33 AM
